Its been A Busy Few Days!

Well. Its been busy, Its Christmas time, and we will most likely be moving, unpacking, or roofing almost on christmas.... we still dont know anything about the house for sure but we're 75% sure we're getting it! I hope so! I have so many decorating Ideas! I even was desperate enough for a job to apply at Chuck E Cheese last night! AHHH! It was an OK job but there was pleanty of times where you got stuck wtih ALL of the work! But money is money and right now I'm very much lacking it...
Last night I didn't get a ton of sleep becuase we went to bed at 2. and put the boys out....well by 230 they were howling because they were too cold. So we brought them in...and I was nervous because it was my first time letting Evan out all night in the house (my aunt does it ALL the time with him but I never had, and it wasnt my house)...so I was like flippin out that he was destroying something! But he never did that I know of!
Anyways we started packin last night, got most of our DVDs packed up...we didnt' realize we had over 3 boxes (2 big and one small) of DvDs! And we will probably fill another one by moving becuase a lot of new ones are comin out and we left out a lot of our new ones so we could watch them since we're here yet for another few weeks (most days 29, who knows the shortest!)...but anyways. I'm gonna head out!

Taking a BIG step....Gratitude challenge day 9

So WE GOT THE HOUSE!!!!!! YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!! I'm soooo excited!! Even though I'm still with mixed feelings on the house. I'm very glad we got it. Now we get to take it one step at a time....BUT the loser I asked to call me and of course didnt so I didnt know what day to go home, he told me now he doesnt have off till next thurs so now I'm going home...but it makes me so mad he didnt call! Grrr....Anyways it was crappy rainy out, but now I'm gonna go start packing up stuff so I can get ready to go home tomorrow and not tuesday like we thought.....Bah

Gratitude challenge day 9, I'm supposed to appriciate and enjoy the things around me...which I've definantly been doing.

the BIG debate....hmmmm/Gratitude challenge 8

I'm really just missing Jamie today....I'm actually debating going home Thanksgiving after dinner with my family and just doing my last day of hunting tomorrow. I'm just really missing him...Last year at this time his mom was telling us to pick out an engagment ring so that he could save it until he wanted to ask...and we were only together 3 months! But we ended up getting engaged the next month wtih a ring he picked by himself and suprised me!

Gratitude Challenge #8
Send thank you notes to 5 people who deserve a little recognition.

Well I'm sending them out via facebook to my Mom, My auntie K, My best friend, My Fiance, and My Sister.

OMG I'm BEHIND/ Gratitude challenge 7

Ok...well Its been a BUSY weekend with Deer Hunting and everything...I missed a huge buck and my mom ended up shooting him :(...oh well...Anyways...Yesterday my back started hurting, an I kept out there, and eventually it was hurting so bad I couldn't get my shoes off....I went to the chiro today and he told me to do as little walking as possible today and tomorrow :( and its a beautiful hunting day....grrr....Oh well I guess...I also had to switch back schools because the school I was just accepted for screwed everything up and there was no way I'd have all the stuff in by the time I needed it.
Todays Gratitude challenge is to share a picture of something I'm grateful for....Now its not that I"m grateful for my ring...(if I had a picture of Jamie acutally proposing to me that would be it)....but finding him in my life, and starting our lives together....that was the moment in my life I was truly grateful for!

Man I've Fallen Behind. Gratitude Challenge Day 6

I'm sorry I missed a few days here. I've been so busy. Jamie put an offer on a house I didn't even see, which just made me upset for the day. Its a beautiful house from what I can tell in the pictures which made me not AS mad. I went to the Musical and everything. Which again was just amazing like always! Now I'm going to do this, find an email for my academic advisor, catch up on greys, glee, and antm. Then who knows!

Todays challenge is to call someone I haven't talked to in a while. Well I did this yesterday but didn't get a chance to write it in! I didn't call her, but I picked her up and took her to beauty and the beast! Her name is Katie. Shes 8 years old now (well almost), but she was a HUGE part of my life. When she was 5 months old her mom left for basic training and her dad was taking an internship in the cities and she was living with her grandparents. I babysat her almost every day for that summer, and her mom was only back for about 7-8 months before she got deployed to Iraq. I pretty much helped raise her from 5 months-2 years. I hadn't seen her in almost 2 years after that. Things were so busy with her family and mine and she had a lot of moving around. So I called her dad up and suprise picked her up to take her to the musical! Shes gotten so big! We had an amazing time talkin about the things she remembered from when she was with us, and the few times after! It was great, and shes such a loving child! I'm glad I'm going to be living closer to her again, she changed my life, I had to learn a lot just by babysitting her and she helped prepare me for being a parent later in life!

Today and Gratitude Challenge day 5

Jamie, Ash, and I went to look at apartments and Land today. We found one that we really like. After that I went to see Beauty and the Beast at the high school! It was sooooo good!!!!!!! I can't wait to see it again! I'm glad I picked Lexi to sing with Andrew at my wedding!!! Anyways back to business....

Today's challenge is to take 5 minutes to write about how grateful I am for everything in my life.
I have no words to really express my emotion to how grateful I am for everything in my life. I haven't felt this way in a looong! I've been so happy lately and I'm so thankful for the things in my life that have made me that way. Its mostly Jamie. But everything is starting to finally fall into place. And most of it is from Love. The love of my family, freinds, Jamie, and everything. I am thankful that I get to experience that feeling. Man its been 5 minutes and I hardly felt I wrote anything. Its so hard to put this into words becuase its such a hard feeling to explain.

Yesterday/Today and Challenge #4

Well Yesterday was a good day. Jamie and I and a few of his freinds went to the Milwaukee Bucks game against the Denver Nuggets. We were like 10 seats off the court and had free drinks, and great views! We didnt originally have those tickets but ours were bought by some club or whatever that goes to every home game, so they uprgraded us bigtime! Our seats cost over twice as much as our tickets did! I even caught a shirt! We had a lot of fun.

Today I was just blah. I got up at 10ish, but sat in bed and watched TV till 1230. I have to get ready to go to town pretty quick. I have to return Evanrudes new collar because it quit working. Then I am going to get my tattoo touched up. And I have to stop at KT to get some cash because last time my card got rejected at the parlor and I don't really feel like going through that again. Then I'm coming home and packing away, I'll be going home for a week or two. This weekend me and Jamie are looking at some land and the apartment we are pretty sure we will be getting. And its Beauty and the Beast! I'm so excited! My old high school puts on AMAZING shows! And I get to meet JASON! My sissy's boy toy! And next weekend is deer hunting.

Speaking of Jason. My dreams last night were INSANE :(. First I asked Shelly how Jason was and she said "you didn't hear? He died this morning" I was like WHAT? And then she went on to tell me how he was stopped in his car and his dad was driving a combine and couldnt get it to stop, and ended up running into the car and killing him. I was sooooo sad for my baby sister! When I told my dad he didn't care a whole lot and was like we arent going to give her gas money to attend the funeral either. I was so mad at that. And I woke up BAWLING and fell asleep again. Then my dream turned into me walking in the ghetto area of some town, trying to find my apartment. And this guy was hitting on me and I couldnt find my pepper spray until after his wife found him and drug him away. Then I ran into some friends and they were like come with us, we'll find you a ride home later we just dont want you walking alone. Then we somehow ended up at a 4H camp.....and yeah it was very random....

Todays Gratitude challenge is it write a message of thanks to something "Negative" in my life.
Well. My negatives in life are money. I don't have any at all, and I wont be getting any anytime soon either. I have $600 bucks to live on. (and the tattoo touchup is 10 bucks and im getting it done before I move so it can be touched up by the same artist. Just clearin that up)....I owe my fiance $2000 for the last 8 months of living together where I didn't have a very good job. He helped pay rent, we bought a washer and dryer (scratch and dent sale), we have our jeep, and for other things I've needed help paying for. I hate that I owe so much money to him. I hate it very much! But. It makes me watch my spending habits, and save money better, and realize that I need to go to college so that I can get a really good job in the field I'm working in. It pushes me to have to make sacrifices, and manage my money. Which is something I had never had to learn before because I lived at home and helped out a lot, so they rewarded me with things. I didnt have rent, I didnt' have cell phone bills, I didn't have to buy food, or gas, so All the money I made was mine to do with what I want. Then I hit the real world. And it was a big wake up call most definantly! But I'm glad it happend. And I'm glad that I have a supportive fiance who is there to help me when I need things but doesnt just hand me money all the time.

Challenge: Day 3

Today's challenge is to write about something I feel grateful for in my life today.

I'd have to say my Fiance Jamie. I honestly never felt that I'd be able to call someone my fiance, or that I'd even make it one year with someone. My longest realtionship before Jamie was 9 months. Jamie and I were only together 4 before he proposed. I can honestly say I'm so grateful to have someone in my life as amazing and caring as him. Hes always there for me, and he makes me so happy. Im grateful that he's been able to give me the feelings I thought I'd never have. I'm excited to start our lives together as a married couple, and he gives me something to look forward to. Hes an amazing guy. And like the song thats going to be sang during our wedding. "When God made you, he must have been thinking about me, and everything that I would need".

Gratitude Challenge: Day 2...the Alphabet

Todays Challenge is to use the ABCs to say what I'm grateful for and why. So here it goes!

A- Ashley, without one of my best friends I'd be lost! Shes like a sister to me and I love her to death!

B- Books, without them I'd be lost. They save me from boredom and open my eyes to new things in life.

C- Ciara, again one of my best friends! I love this girl and Shes always there for me!

D- Driving. I'm so glad we can drive. I can make it back and forth between my parents house and my house in 3 hours instead of the time it would take me to walk. Or bike.

E- Evanrude. Hes my baby boy! I love him! He brought me out of some dark times, and I love that hes always there for me, hes amazing wtih people and especially kids so I have no fears of when I have kids. He is so lovable and caring!

F- Family. I love my family and I'm so glad they are supportive of everything I do, even if they don't always agree. They are always there for me and I love them for everything!

G- God. I'm so thankful that I have my faith and that God is always there for me. Especially in these tough times. Since my attacks started happening more I've been looking for God for more help. He gives me the strength and I can always feel a calmness come over me when I look to him when I feel them coming.

H- Home. I'm glad I have a home to live in. A place to call home. and A roof over my head. My home is where my fiance lives, or I also call Home where my mom and dad live.

I- Internet. Without it I wouldnt have met my AMAZING fiance. Its also my way to stay in touch with my family and friends.

J- Jamie. My amazing Fiance. I'm so glad we found eachother and that everything is going great between us. He puts up with all my crap, and hes always making me laugh and I feel amazin wtih him

K- Kevie. My dad. Hes so great and I love him! Even though we FIGHT all the time, I know its because we are so much alike, and since we've been in a "long distance relationship" since I moved here, we've grown that much closer!

L- Love. Without love we have nothing. I think everyone has to have love, either with a person, or even a pet. But you have to be passionate about something or theres nothing to live for.

M- Music. I love music. I'm so glad that we have it and we can enjoy it.

N- Noise. I hate when its too quiet. I get scared of things being too quiet. I start having attacks because I think I hear things that arent there.

O- Ownership. It feels good that in the country we live in we can Own things. We have so many opportunities in this country and its amazing that we live in such a great place.

P- Pictures. I love pictures. I love that we can capture memories and look back on them whenever we want.

Q- Questions. If nobody asked questions nobody would know what was going on.

R- Rules. I'm glad that there are rules. Without rules, the world would be complete chaos and there would be no order or safety for anyone.

S- Shelly. My baby sister. Shes amazing and I love her. We hated eachother when we were little and now we've become very close friends.

T- Talking. I'm grateful that we have the ability to talk and communicate with eachother.

U- Underwear. I love underwear! Thats all there is to it.

V- Vision. Again another thing I am very thankful that I have. I love to see things, colors, textures, light, dark, people, everything. I'd be lost without my vision

W- Weddings. I love weddings. They are the most amazing thing. 2 People committing their lives to eachother, in front of God. 2 People expressing their love to everyone and starting a life together.

X- Xrays. Even though I had to have about 12 of them in 6 weeks, I'm glad to know that I was not going to have to go through surgery on my neck, and that I was able to get it off at 6 weeks.

Y- Youth. I love being in my youth still. there is still so much life ahead of me and I still have time to do things.

Z- Zipper. Jamies dog. Ive grown to love him in the past year and a half. He is a good house protector and I always feel safe knowing hes with us. Hes such a playful loving dog and I'm glad that him and Evanrude get along and its so cute when they Snuggle together. But hes also got a mean bark that lets people know that this is our house and that if they arent invited and he doesnt know them to go away.

boy that one got my mind thinking! its crazy when you don't realize things your thankful for, and then all of the sudden you realize things little by little!

Trying to Early Christmas Shop....its not working

I'm trying to find Jamie's present for Christmas and I can't seem to find it ANYWHERE online! Except for one which is way too much for what I have to spend. Its also over our spending limit on eachother anyways. BAH. Anyways.. Its been a good day, got up at like 7 when Jamie left for work and couldnt fall back asleep! So I took a shower, ate breakfast, and watched my daily 2 episodes of Say Yes to the Dress, and 2 episodes of Animal Cops Detroit. Jamie goes today to see what kind of loan we are eligable for when it comes to our house! We drew up some blue prints last night too! I am getting really excited about building so I hope we stick with it!

Gratitude Challenge: Day 1

I have seen so many people taking the gratitude challenge and I find that this is the perfect time in my life to do so. Day 1 is to express why I accepted the challenge and what I hope to achieve from it.

I accepted the challenge because I feel that right now I'm taking too much for granted in life, and I shouldnt be because theres a lot of wonderful things in my life that I forget to be thankful for every day. I hope to achieve some sort of self finding in the process as well as realizing the things in life that mean the most to me.

Bad News...Good News...

So its been a crazy hectic week but things are FINALLY falling into place! Jamie got a phonecall (the call we've been waitin for for a year now!) and he came into our room, and said "Baby..I got bad news, and I got good news" All I could think of is crap, we got Kenosha. He said "The bad news is there is no more La Crosse position" I cried....then he said "Good news is its because I took it!" I was so happy! It doesnt start until January but that gives us time to start looking for places to live. We've decided to build a house. So for 6 months we are going to rent a place. We are going to look at this townhouse on friday. If we get that one, my best friend Ashley is going to live with us for the 6 months since she is moving back into the area and doesnt want to live at home. Which I will feel better about because then I won't be home alone at night while Jamie is at work. I also got accepted into MN State Southeast Technical College Nursing Program! Yay!

Saturday night one of my besties and I went to see RENT (broadway tour) in Appleton. The actual Mark and Rodger were in it! It was soooo amazing! I had a blast. And they did a auction for getting to go backstage and meet the people and get pictures, and they went for $800 and that person let another person match the $800, so for $1600 (which went towards AIDS research and to help families that have been affected by it) 2 people got to meet the cast. The musical is definantly my favorite and their singing gave me the chills!

Busy Wedding Planning Week!!

I got a lot done this week with wedding things! We picked out a calla lilly guest book, got some picture frame decorations with calla lillies inside, I got my singers :D, we got our wedding favors, I got some other people little jobs for during my wedding. Then me and my girlfriend Ciara, also one of the bridesmaids, went bridesmaids dress shopping, and we found one we loved! Then she was like "You need to try on a dress too!!!" so I tried on this one, and it was amazing on me! But way too expensive. So we decided to try to find it in MN where they don't have sales tax on dresses. Well. I didnt find that one, and the lady told me I was too picky because I wanted a corset back and a plain bottom on the dress....So her daughter took over. As I was rummaging through the sales rack, I found a dress a lot like the one I had picked the day before. We actually forgot about it till last minute. Well I tried it on and it was a size 10, and only needed little adjustments in the breast area. But it was perfect! I felt like a princess! We also got a matching veil and jewelry! Now I can't wait for July!!! We also found my bridesmaids dresses there and they were a lot cheaper! Yay! It was VERY exciting! Other than that I was sick the last two days, and feeling a lot like crap! Its a horrible cold! Now I'm going to watch some greys wtih my mom. Have an amazing day!!

A week with The Family

It's been a great week so far. Even though I very much so miss my sexy loving fiance! I've been spending a lot of time with my mom. We went shopping the other day, and then I went to Surrogates with my sister! Last night she had a party with a bunch of her friends, it was a scary movie party and so I made some amazing oreo desserts and smores dessert and taco dip :D. And watched with them. I feel so old! But its a way to spend time with my sister too. Today she had her concert for choir and it was pretty good :D, I miss it! I also found out my old english teacher's cousin lives a half a mile on the same road from me and Jamie's first place! Crazy. Tomorrow mom and I continue our Grey's Anatomy Marathon! I'm so happy I got her hooked! Now I get to see them all over again!!! YAY! Anyways I'm gonna watch some Degrassi then actually get some sleep....maybe....I'm tired and hurting today. I get to go to the chiro tomorrow....Anyways Im out! Have a great night everyone!

Ugh My poor Back :(

My back is in pain today. It was the first time in 2 months I've been to the chiropractor, and he found pleanty of knots in my back. and now that hes got them all released again it sucks :(. It keeps lockin up on the right side and it starts in my hip and goes to midback, and its been hurting for weeks, and he worked on it a lot today. I'll most likely be going back soon. Kinda sucks a bit. I think I really need sleep. I've been tired all day, but I still dont sleep all night. My stupid meds cause all this insomnia and I started taking it every other day (if i remember, or just when I remember to). and Its still all in my system and last time I was on it for a year it took 6 months for me to finally start sleeping better. Now I was only on it for about a month fully, and now only take it every other dayish and I feel exhausted all day, don't sleep good all night, and now I can't even sleep in anymore. I was supposed to go to a movie tonight wtih Ciara and Shelly, but we got worried with the snow so we cancelled for this week and we're going next week. Anyways I'm going to bed. Mom's taking me to get vacation and engament pictures developed! yay! Have a good night everyone!

Wow...again its been too long...

Its been so crazily busy here. I just quit my job, and decided to come visit my familiy yesterday. We went to 6 Flags it was FREEZING...and very busy. Yesterday morning I hopped in the jeep and drove home! And today its SNOWING! I hate snow!!!! And I've been having some horrible dreams about my wedding going SO WRONG! I hate it! I'm guessing its because I've been worrying that I dont have everything done and that I feel like I'm falling behind. I've got 9 months until the wedding and I've been told I'll have time for everything. Well I was gonna go home Friday but then I realized my mom has all next week off, and Shelly wants help next weekend with apple pies. So I'm gonna stay here an extra week :D. I'm excited but I'm gonna miss my hunny. Anyways. Now that I'm not working I'm gonna try really hard to keep up with this! Anyways I'm having a Greys anatomy marathon because I've got nothing else to do....I dont want to go outside because its snowing.

Again with the MIA

I'm so sorry I've been so MIA! I've been so busy with working and not sleeping! I did however put my two weeks in today so I can find a steady job with less driving and more working! I also guess Jamie is buying a Jeep right now. A 2007 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo. In Blue. I'm excited!!!! Tomorrow we have a wedding. I'm just so tired already. I think I've filled out an application to everywhere haha. Ok not quite everywhere but so far 17 applications today. I'm also in desperate need of a haircut and color, my mom is gonna give me money to do it! YAY! So I can actually do that and I dont have to worry! Anyways gotta keep this short, just letting everyone know where I've been!

Finally...a Good Weekend....

It was quite the amazing weekend. Friday Ciara brought her puppy Riley over to play with Evanrude. Hes SOOOO cute! Then we got Ice Cream Cake, and went to Hansens Hold Up for supper. Me and Jamie got to celebrate our birthdays together, Mom and Dad got me earrings, noserings, a yoga DVD, contact case, and a waterpik. Shelly got me a photo album and a naval ring. And Jamie got a shirt and money from my family! We played a game of Mousetrap, a few games of Uno Attack! Then some frisbee golf and sword fighting on the wii!

Saturday morning, we got up and dressed and headed for Hudson. We spent the morning with Kyle, Jamie's friend from College. He took us out to eat, and I got to listen to the amazing stories of police officers who havent seen eachother in a while! Haha. Then we got to the hotel, got dressed, and headed out for my cousins wedding. It was a beautiful wedding, and I've never seen my cousin Tony SO happy before! It was great. We left the reception and went to the pool. We got to drive dads brand new Toyota Tacoma. It was fun!

Sunday morning we got up and met up with Ashley at the Mall of America, it was Jamies first time and we spent a LOT of money! But I got a super cute pair of Jeans from Hollister, for $30 bucks, and a fuzzy hoodie from Aero. Then we went to Hooters, and then we left for the casino. He gave me $40 to gamble with, and I used $20 and within 20 minutes had $77! But then I kept playing...and I ended up with $39.98...Man I shoulda quit while I had $77!!! Then Jamie and I each took $20 to play Blackjack (my first time)..and we both lost it all lol. Then we picked up Evanrude and came home.

Now its Monday. We slept in until 11, and showered and now we're going for a walk. Have an AMAZING DAY!

Sorry I've been MIA

Wow. Its been a BUSY BUSY week. I put in a LOT of hours! I was working from 915am-1030pm every day this week! But now I'm at mom and dads FINALLY! I missed them terribly! Tomorrow is my cousins Wedding, today we are celebrating my birthday! Its just me and Jamie at home now, but later on my parents will be home! I get off till Tuesday too! I got called into work on Labor day, and I was gonna take it no matter what because its 50 Cents extra an hour and time and a half. BUT I told them I didnt want to take it, and only would if they gave me Monday off. And they didnt sound happy but they were DESPERATE! SO I get off till Tuesday! YAY! Anyways. I best get ready for the wonderful day! Ciara is coming over at some point and time, and we are gonna do a photo shoot thing! Anyways. Have a WONDERFUL weekend!

One Year came and went, and I still get the butterflies!

Well first off...Sunday, we went to the Brewers game. My first! Which was completely AMAZING...even though I was slightly hungover on the ride over. But was feeling much better in the fresh air, in my Fielder Jersey, watching my first game! It was amazing. I never realized how much I Loved watching baseball until I saw it played first hand. We had club seats, and It was a simply amazing expirience! I can't wait to do it again! Best off...The Brewers WON! 4-1!!! That thrilled me because Jamie hadn't even been to a game where they've won and this was his third game this year!!! Here are a few pics!

Anyways. Continuing. Monday, August 31st 2009, was Jamie and I's One Year anniversary. We have been officially together for One year!!!! I couldn't beleive it. I still get the butterflies seeing him, and I wake up many mornings to him sleeping, and all I can do is smile. This was a special day for us. Its my first One Year anniversary. And it also means 11 Months till the wedding! Speaking of the wedding, we decided it was such a beautiful day, what better than to take our engagment pictures! So we picked up Jamies mom, and headed to Lakeside Park, and had our own photo shoot! And they turned out sooooo Amazing! I'll post a few here! After we did that, we went to Applebees (the first place of our first date/first day meeting), and then to The Final Destination. All I can say is that he is the most amazing guy in the world, and I'm the luckiest girl alive. I can't wait for the next 11 Months to fly so I can finally be Mrs. Jamie La Brec. He is my everything. My world. Anyways the pics are messed up because for some reason I can't paste so I have to load them and they arent going where they are supposed to.

Then Last night, Jamie and I went to Best Buy to get a new TV for our bedroom and surround sound....and ended up coming home with that, a DVD player, a Wii, Wii Fit, and Wii Sports Resort. So we slightly spoiled ourselves. Tomorrow I have off, Evanrude is gettin a haircut, which he NEEDS badly! I may get my tattoo fixed, I need new tennis for work, and May apply at some places. Mom doesnt think I should but I'm not sure where my hours will be after Sept. 17th. I am also picking up Jamies birthday present! My baby is turning 22 on saturday! And I can't wait! I hope he really enjoys his present!

I've been watching One Tree Hill a LOT again lately, finishing up season 6. And I just watched a very sad episode. Quentin, one of Lucas's basketball players was killed, and the whole Jamie and the funeral thing. All I could think about was the last funeral I went to. It was while I was in high school. Summer between my Freshman and Sophomore year. My friend Laura called me to tell me that our classmate Brian David Owens had been in a car accident with his father, and was killed instantly. And that day hit all of us very hard. Brian was a good friend to many of us, and to hear that he wasn't with us anymore, well. It was hard....The hardest part of all of it though, was the funeral. All my classmates were there, except, almost no parents showed up with their kids. There were so many upset, that then had to drive home alone because they didn't have parents there. I couldn't have went without my mom. I couldnt have driven home. His poor mom was not in good shape, and it killed me to see her. As I'm sure it did many. He was an amazing friend. And I still miss him very much. I wonder what it would be like today if he were still with us. Would we be friends still? Where would have he went to school? What kind of life would he have? These questions come to me every once in a while. And I still think of him every now and then. Everytime I drive to Whitehall, I look for his cross, the one someone built for him, and we all signed. And I know he's watching over that road, protecting all of us from being taken from the world at such a young age. But I know God had a plan for him, and now he's probably skateboarding along the streets of Heaven. Kicking it Old school. WE MISS YOU BRIAN!!!

XOXO!!!!!!!!!

Wow. Up early????

I was up before 9 today, and it was my DAY OFF, I should have been sleeping in! Well yesterday I worked 1030 am to 830 pm. It was a pretty good day. Until I got home and found out that theres a huge chance me and Jamie are gonna end up by Milwaukee. My worst fear. Just a month ago on the news police officers were killed. Jamies my life, I don't want to lose him. But ending up there worries me. So if we do end up there, I've decided I will not make him stay for the 4 years so I can finish school, we will transfer ASAP. Even if I really like where we live, its for the safety of the one person in my life I can't live without. Today I think we're going to Princeton to see Jamies uncle, and then Justins tonight. Then tomorrow is my first Brewers Game!!! YAY! Anyways I'm starving...Cereal, fruity pebbles to be exact, it is! Have a great day!

Can I have a Life Back?

Again its been a while. All I've been doing is WORKING. Yesterday almost straight from 1030am-1015pm. Tomorrow its gonna be 1030-830 probably. I haven't even had time to do yoga, and my poor body knows it. I'm sore! My neck is kinked, my shoulders burn....BAH. But I guess I should be happy I'm getting hours. Starting the 17th I'm losing my main client. I usually get between 20-27 hours a week out of my 35 with her. And when she leaves I'll lose those hours. Lately I haven't been to any other clients. I go once to my other main person, and then a casual every now and then. Jamie did buy me one tree hill season 6, so I'm starting to watch the 5th season so I can get to the 6th. I miss my family and these weeks seem to be going SO SLOW! Can it be this weekend already? I'm excited to celebrate my first one year anniversary I've ever had, and I'm so glad its with Jamie. I also am going to my first Brewers game! Then I can't wait till September 11th. I'm finally going home! Celebrating my birthday with my parents, freinds, and especially my Sister! AHHH! Then the 12th is my cousin Tony's wedding. Anyways. I'm back to One Tree Hill, just thought I'd stop in and let you all know whats going on. Hopefully get some yoga in before my shift starts at 630! See ya all later!

Bah. I think I'm working too hard!

I've been working 2 shifts a day since last Wed. and only have one day this week that I'm not working 2 shifts. Last night I had to dust a laundry room (which needed it badly), and today a bedroom (again hadn't been done in forever)...and poor me has a sore throat and stuffy nose now :(...But on another note, I figured out what is causing my lovely insomnia. Of course its my meds. I always thought it was because of my accident, but I started my meds right before my accident, and then it got better in the time where I wasn't on anything for the last year....and now a month after being on my meds my Insomnia starts up again. Yay. Time for another dr. appointment. I also am really worried about whats happening with my job. My main client who I've been getting about 25 hours a week with won't be with the company much longer. I only get 5 hours with my other clients right now! So I hope work comes up with something good!

On a good note, I love yoga! And everytime I do it Jamie's cat lays in front of my paws crossed and watches the whole time. I'll try to get a picture when she does it again! I did yoga today but she was passed out on the comfty chair! I am really hoping Mom gets me some new yoga dvds for my birthday! (I know my birthday was last week but I havent seen my family yet!)...But my ring Jamie got me is missing a diamond :( So I now have to come up with some cash to manage to pay for that to get fixed and sized. Bah. Anyways. Hubbs is at the casino so I'm gonna eat something and go to bed....I hope anyways! Have a good one!

Thursday, Thursday.

Well Tuesday night I got my tattoo!!! And I LOVE IT! It hurt horribly but it's so worth it!

Other than that, I've just been working a lot. Last night me and Jamie watched The Hannah Montana movie, and today we watched Last House on the Left. Now we're just watching random tv. I guess we're leavin to hang with some of Jamie's friends now. So I'll Talk to ya all Later!!!

Car is Fixed. I'm Freezing. and I have an Appointment!

Well we took the cycle to drop off and pick up my car from Jamie's uncles. And well. It RAINED the way back to pick it up!!! Poor J had to drive back in the pouring rain while I had the car :(. So I'm still cold but my car no longer sounds like a cricket!! All well worth it. But when I got home I made my tattoo Appointment for tomorrow! I have officially decided what I fully want. I just have to have him draw it up. But like I said yesterday I want a cherry blossom branch on my foot. This will have five blooming blossoms. One for each of the important people in my life. Mom, Dad, Shelly, Jamie, Ashley, and Ciara. Then I want a few buds, resembling the new people who will come into our lives over time. And in the middle I want chinese for August for thats just a very good month for me! I'm so excited! 6PM tomorrow I get to do it! YAY! And my best guy friend Cody is for sure going with me now, and we're gonna even try gettin him a new tattoo too! Anyways me and Jamie are watching High School Musical 2. We are such geeks. But whatever! We are so in love!!! Anyways. Buh Bye...Have an AMAZING GREAT day!

Any Other day....I guess...

Today was just like any other day....Work....then Nap. Cleaned my car, and haven't had a chance to do my Yoga yet today. But I am excited about Tuesday! On Tuesday I'm getting my 3rd tattoo. My first tattoo is my rose on my hip. My middle name is rose, and roses are my favorite flower. My second tattoo has a very special meaning to me. I have a swallow on my ankle. Swallows always come back home. I felt that I had kinda lost my way and FINALLY came back home. I'm happier than ever and theres more, but I'm not ready to say it to the world. My 3rd tattoo is going to be a branch of cherry blossoms lining above my toes to my ankle, with the word August in chinese in the middle. Cherry blossoms are a symbol of love. And I met the love of my life in August, and we started dating in August. My birthday is also in August, and we were SUPPOSED to be getting married in August but things changed now its July 31st. My best guy friend Cody is gonna go with me to get the tattoo! I'm super excited but I'm having a hard time finding a picture of what I want. So hopefully I can get them to draw me up something super cool! Anyways. ABDC is gonna start soon! Best get crackin so I can watch it with Jamie while he cleans his gun! Everyone have an AMAZING day! I'm going to find some snacks before then!!!!

Well I'd say I'm slacking!

Boy its been a hectic little week here! Busy Busy Busy!
Tuesday:
It was a pretty boring Tuesday, I went to Appleton shopping and got some cute things. Then it was boring again until the whole drama events which I don't care to go into detail about happend. Lets just say It was quite the night.

Wed.:
We got up and headed to Gurnee, IL for 6 Flags. We spent most the day in the waterpark going on the slides, and the water was warm in some slides and FREEZING on others! And chicks kept checking my fiance out! Ugh, they sure decided to not try to make it unobvious! Bah! Anyways. We then had to wait in line FOREVER for every roller coaster! And we stayed for coasters after dark, which was 2 hours long, but we got STUCK on superman again! This time Miranda wasn't even there, and at least we hadn't started going! That put us back a long time, and so we only got to go on 2 coasters :(. We got home and boy was my face BURNT! I looked pretty funny. But everything was worth it.

Thurs:
ITS MY BIRTHDAY!! I'm officially 20 years old! Jamie worked in the morning, then came home and we made some tuna helper for lunch. My birthday present he actually got last year for me for Christmas but decided to propose instead. So he saved it for my birthday. Its a 1/4 carat diamond ring! Its a double band with a flower in the middle and its BEAUTIFUL! I will try to get some pictures later. I was thinking though, if I would have gotten it for Christmas instead of getting a engagment ring, I probably would have thought it was one! Haha! After that was all done, we went to Silicas Scratch and Dent sale and ended up getting a none matching set of front loading washer and dryer! Oh well that they dont match and are a little banged up! We saved like $600 buying them that way! After that was done, we went to Little Ceasars, and Jamie has now decided we are going to open one when he gets his permanent position! Thats very exciting for us! Then we went golfing. It was my second time and I thought I was doing a LOT better, but I scored one worse than last time! :( Guess I better practice more!!! I didn't even get a cake or brownies for my birthday because it was too hot and we went golfing and didnt want to drive back into town to pick me up an ice cream cake, and we got home and there were no eggs for our brownies :(. Boo...I'll have to convince mom to get me one when I come home to celebrate my birthday! Grandma Liz sent me some money for my birthday and so did my cousin. I'll get the present from Mom and Dad and Shelly when I come home next.

Friday:
I worked. All Day. At two different clients houses. It was hot but overall Good Day. I got home, and got all cute and took my Fiance out on a hot date. We went to Culvers, then Target (where I bought a lot of bras all for about $3 a piece!, and my yoga gear)., and then to The Time Travelers Wife, which was an AWESOME movie! Then home to bed.

Saturday:
OK finally to today!!! Well I'm happy to announce that exactly One Year ago today, I met Jamie in person in a WalMart Parking lot, and then went mini golfing and to Applebees, and he even got me yellow roses for my birthday since that was 2 days before! And we've been basically together ever since. Our actual one year anniversary is coming up soon! August 31st! Anyways. I worked today, and its HOT and HUMID out! Not fun to drive the van with no windows that work or fan!!! Now I think I'm gonna go start Yoga. I want to get in shape but I hate running. So I thought I'd try something new!!! Hope it goes well!!! I'll try to stay more updated now that this week is over! I want to try working on the video for my MTMH forum as well!!! That will probably get almost done Tues when I actually have a day off that Jamie isn't home needing me to do stuff!!!

Been a Couple days!

Well its been a wonderful couple of days! Saturday night me and Jamie got all dressed in our 80's gear and went to a party. I won best dressed!!! It was quite funny watching Jamie and his high school friend Evan try to pimp me out all night. I had quite a few takers, it was pretty funny. My leg warmers didn't last very long, it got too warm.

I worked yesterday, and then got home and got dressed, and Jamie and his family and I went to G.I. Joe, which was an amazingly good movie!!! Channing Tatum is so HOT! Today we were just lazy, Jamie went to practice his golf drive for tomorrows big game, and I work 6:30-10:15, Yay, not.

But on another note, my sister Shelly texted me yesterday. She has her first boyfriend! I was thrilled for her! Except I don't really know this kid! I know his name is Jason and they met through 4-H, so I'm just hoping he's good to her! It makes me feel so old seeing her grow up like that! Anyways. I'm gonna watch Wife Swap, and maybe hopefully my Fiance will bring me home Pizza Hut!!!

The Lights are Off now...and I am Safe

Fear. We all have it. But what makes us fear things. Where does it come from??? What are your fears??
Mine. I'm scared of the dark, the quiet, being alone, spiders, and worst of all. I have a fear of losing my fiance. Fear is what makes you work that much harder at things. To overcome the fear, and to beat the odds. The other night, I went to bed before Jamie, and the lights...well they stayed off. And for once in my life, I didn't feel the sheer panic I usually do. I felt safe, and I felt very calm. Maybe its because for the first time in my life, I'm looking more into my faith than I have before. My girlfriend Kali started telling me differnt verses from the Bible. And I really sat and thought about them, and I think about them everyday. I may not always go to church (I actually would like to start again but its been hectic, I know thats no excuse but its hard)...but I still believe that God is out there, he's my savior, and he will always protect me when I need it. And when my time comes, well then I guess my time comes. That means he just has something bigger planned for me somewhere else. So I will not be afraid when he comes for me. And I will not let things scare me quite as badly. You can't erase all fear, but you can minimize it greatly.

Today I worked all day just about. And frankly I'm exhausted! I work all weekend, and tomorrow is the big 80's party for all those dudes who turn 21! And then I only work 630-1015 at one house on Monday, and then three days off! And I plan on taking advantage of it by sleeping in, and snuggling with my babe whose on vacation. Might I say that I am so completely and utterly in love with this Police Officer that even when he pisses me off, I can't stay mad at him! I love this boy more than anything else, hes the one person that can make me smile no matter what, he still gives me butterflies when he smiles, and hes truly an amazing person. I gave up, I bought a dog (who i love very much). I stopped going out, I started hanging out with my girlfriends more, and I even started working more. Never once thought that I'd meet a guy on Match.Com and end up meeting him in person. It will be one year on August 15th since I first met him. This guy completely turned my life around. He made me realize the things that were important in life. And for that I'm truly grateful for, and right now hes sleeping in the chair behind me. And all I want to do is just curl up next to him. So I think I might!

ARGH!!!!!! Seriously??

Jamie has off starting Friday up until the next Sunday. I was so excited that we'd have 4 days together! But I went into work yesterday and they have me on the schedule for BOTH weekends hes off! I was supposed to be off next weekend! I'm BEYOND Irate! They didn't even ask if that was ok? We aren't allowed to request our weeknds to work off anymore, and now they are scheduling us on weekends we have off??? I'm so overly upset about this. They called me to work today, but I didn't answer any of the 3 times. I hate this. Me and Jamie have hardly spent any time together lately and I was excited, And his birthday falls on a saturday during my weekend to work! Seeing as now I work 3 weekends in a row and wont have off really again until me and Jamie's one year anniversary! UGH. Come on people!! Come on State Patrol and give my Fiance a permanent job!! Get us out of here!!!
I just wanna scream! I don't want to lose my job by yelling at my bosses, but I dont think this is fair to us at all. Ok me. I'm the only person it happens to because I'm apparently the only person who can go to this one client. Her mom is having surgery and her mom is her everyother weekend person. So because of that I have to come in! They really should have asked me!!! They also need to train some more frickin people with her so everytime someone is sick I'm not the only person who can go! BAH!

Other than that I took Evanrude to the vet today for a check-up and shots. They said his ears were better than any cockers they've seen, His teeth were good (but very crooked lol), and his weight was PERFECT!!! YAY! I was so glad to hear that! I thought he was getting fat! But hes not, hes 30 pounds and hes a good weight for his size! Hes such a sweetie, I love that puppy to death! I just wish that Jamie would like him more, it makes me sad that he doens't like him.

Now I'm just waitin for Jamie to get home so we can go shopping for our 80s outfits for Justins 80s party on saturday! I dont' know what people wear to an 80s party??? But I guess I'll find something! Wish me Luck!

It hit me Today

It really hit me today while I was watching Army Wives. That I'm not one to have a job that requires sitting around. Yes photography is one of my favorite things in the world, but I need to save lives. I need to help people. I Love being a CNA, but I want to be in the ER, I want the rush you feel seeing someone and needing to save their life. I want to feel like I'm doing something in this world. I'm going back to school as soon as I can for Nursing. I was a pre-nursing student before, but my teacher for Anat and Phys really didn't know what he was talking about. Seeing as almost everyone in our class failed....including me. I am very proud of my fiance. But I hate sitting around while he gets to help people and I can't. It honestly drives me NUTS. So I'm going back. Just thought I'd let ya know!

Gotta Love the County Fairs...

Its been a BUSY weekend! Saturday morning we were to the Fair by 7:45am, and helping mom set up for the judging. Judging started at 8:45, and went until 4:30. Its always fun to watch my sisters stuff get judged! Since I'm too old to enter anything anymore, and my sister is a awesome artist! I love her stuff! At 4:30 me and mom walked around and got something to eat before we started our 5:00 shift at the beer tent. Then at 9:00 I ended my beer tent shift and started my ID checking/wristbands at the gate shift until 1:00am. So I put in a lot of hours.
Though I must Say. ID checking was quite fun! I wore my State Patrol hat that I got from Jamie. And all the cops were like "Where'd you get that one" and we just had a great time chillin with the cops all night. They were all a lot of fun to talk to! Sad. I know more of the county cops in buffalo county than I do in my home town! My parents went to school with a few of them so they were all braggin to them how their oldest is marrying a state officer! Made me feel good! The one I even asked for his ID (I had a handy dandy ID scanner it was fun lookin at everyones information!!!) and he pulled out his wallet and showed me a Clint Eastwood fake ID....I was like uhhhh lol...A bunch of really cute drunk guys were coming in (and some not so cute) and they'd be like "Guess my Age!" before I scanned the IDs and then I'd ask them to guess mine...It actually made my day when someone told me 22! I'm so used to being 14, 16, and 12. I got 22 and 20 so that was nice! But even though it was a lot of fun, I had 2 hoodies on and was still FROZEN solid! And I got home at 2 and crashed!!!

Today I took Evanrude to the fair at 10am. He was having so much fun! My little baby cousin Mya was there, and she fell in LOVE with my baby! She was sharing EVERYTHING with him. Blanket, toys, and even her sippy cup....and of course she fed him her mini doughnuts too! I'm suprised he hasn't puked yet today. Here's a picture of Mya feeding him! Poor Amy was just shaking her head, especially when Mya took a drink after Evanrude licked it....

By the end of the day at like 6, poor Evanrude just passed out in the car, and boy am I sunburned! I'm so sore and my feet hurt and I'm just ready to crash! I have a dentist appointment at 10 tomorrow. And at some point in time I have to make it back home to my wonderful amazing fiance. My back is really hurting tonight. Between sunburns and achy muscles I'm ready for my full body massage my wonderful fiance still owes me! Anyways I'm putting in Mama Mia! And then I'm probably just gonna pass out during it. But I can't sleep without the TV on so I might as well just keep it on! Goodnight All!

What was it For?

So 3 hour drives really get ya thinking. And lately I've been thinking about A lot. And its really late and I should be sleeping considering we are leavin at 645 tomorrow and then I work 5pm to 1am. But I just need to say this to someone rather than keeping it blocked in. Its really odd. But lately I've been thinking about my life, and what accomplishments I've had. Sure I had a lot of great ones throughout highschool. BUT. The summer after graduation I was in a car accident. Theres no way I should have left a car as flat as a pancake with a small fracture in my neck and slight head trauma. I should have been flattened just like the car. Many times I've thought that. And everyone tells me that someone was looking out for me, and that God has bigger plans for me. And I sit here thinking, ever since my accident I have done nothing worthy of these bigger plans. I do cherish that I'm with Jamie very much. But somehow I don't feel that thats all that I'm meant for. I feel like I should be doing something big, something that means something to someone. I want to figure it out. I want to live my life in a way that makes people proud of me. Something that makes me feel like God didn't waste his time saving my life that day. I mean yeah I'm happy. I've got amazing family, and I'm engaged to the very person who makes me feel happy and still gives me butterflies when I see his amazing smile! But. I still can't shake the feeling that I need to do something big, thats gonna help a lot of people. And for some reason lately, a job has been popping into my head. It's never been a dream of mine, but I've been watching a lot of movies and reading books that all just HAPPEN to have them in. I know I'm tiny so its a long shot, but lately it feels like something I want to do. It would take a lot of hard work, and people would never take me seriously but, I could do so much good. I've been thinking today a lot (well recently watchin movies and stuff) about firefighting. When hearing a firefighter talk about how they feel after saving a life. It runs through me like I want to save a life. I want to be a hero to someone. Because right now, I feel like I'm just here. Jamie is my hero. Hes a police officer. He puts himself in danger everyday to keep me safe. But how am I keeping him safe? He keeps a lot of people safe. And me, I just am a maid pretty much. I clean mostly with my in home care. I want to save peoples lives, I want to feel like I matter. If I could save just one life, after mine being saved, I'd be happy. I'd feel like I really was meant for something in this world worth saving for.
Man....all this thinking....I think I should go to bed. 6 hours is gonna come fast. And with my lovely thinking and insomnia. Boy it will come faster.

Down to the 1 Year Mark!!!

First of all I'd like to say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY AUNTIE K AND UNCLE ROGER! I can't wait to celebrate anniversaries with them! Didn't even realize when we set our date for exactly a year from today (boy how time FLIES) that I'd be sharing my anniversary with my Aunt/Godmother!
Well today has been....eventful...I guess not eventful but just flustering. I found out today that there are people in this world who think I'm posting too much about my fiance and I and whats going on at home on my Facebook. First of all half the things I say on facebook about my fiance, are JOKINGLY calling him a jerk. Secondly, these people don't even know me! So how can they judge? They aren't even my friends on facebook. So they really need to mind their own business and grow up a little. Thanks for that little vent.
I went to work this morning, and it was quite boring, and I really didn't feel like doing much. My second shift starts soon, and that again will be boring, I already know this, haha, its the same routine every day. After that I am coming home, picking up Evanrude, and we are making the big drive (aka 3 hours) to Mom and Dads. The fair is this weekend, and tomorrow I get to be the "bitch" who won't be bribed into giving the underage 21+ wristbands for the beertent. I get to use my "handy dandy" ID scanner and I'm wearing my State Patrol hat to distracf the children from trying to trick me :P hehe. Even though I know not many years ago I would have been one of those kids, but thankfully I'm on the right track now! I guess being engaged to a State Patrol Officer does that to you.
Jamie also informed me today that we are no longer buying a vehicle. We are going to buy a house first, then see if we can get a vehicle and jet skiis shortly afterwards. Sucks, because I would have loved to have an SUV for winter driving, but I'd rather have a house too! I can't wait till he gets a new job and we can have a place to call ours. Paint how we want, decorate how we want, eat how we want, just live like we want. Our situation is fine now, even though a little cramped at times, with 6 people, 3 dogs, and 2 cats basically living here. But its managable! Anyways if I don't stop rambling I'm gonna be late for the Brothers S!!! See ya Later!

Attack free for 24 Hours

Its official...I've been panic attack free for 24 hours. Ive been in the basement while its dark outside for 3 hours by myself. And suprisingly have YET to feel Nervous. Which is a relief because I think Jamie was starting to wonder what he was gettin himself into. His fiance needed him to come "tuck her in" lol, so to speak, then leave the lights on until he came to bed. He should be home in a half hour or so. At least I hope!!! Tomorrow I wont see him hardly at all, and then we wont see eachother till Monday. Then I should be stayin home for a while.

It is exactly One Year and One Day until our wedding! I can't believe how fast its coming! I'm so nervous that I'm not going to have time to get everything done. My bridesmaids are all spread out so far away from eachother and so are Jamie's groomsmen! And this year is gonna be such a BUSY year for us to, besides wedding planning, we also have to plan to have a church ceremony (vow renual so we can be taken into the catholic church as a married couple), hopefully Jamie will have a permanent spot so I can go to school, and we can buy a house!!! And we're currently car shopping! Busy Busy Busy. No wonder I'm exhausted lately!!

Day One...

Hey Everyone! Its me! Today was basically just DRAGGING along as usual! Alarm clock went off at 7:45, I slept in till 8:45, then rushed to get ready and get out the door to Mrs. G's House (can't give names its the law :P)...I helped her vaccum, clean stove, and some tables today, and boy was I tired! I decided to skip my meds until I was done at 1030, because I usually take them at 10 and didnt want to take them 2 hours earlier. I got home, and took the meds, then passed out on the couch until my second shift. I drove the wonderful drive (not) to The Brothers S. I've never worked their 3 hour long Tues-Thurs shift before, but I did today. And I cleaned up doghair, and cooked, and then it was like an hour left yet, which was quite riduculous, usually we're supposed to bake cookies, or brownies or something, but they had NOTHING for desserts besides instant pudding. So I made cheeseburger Mac, and added in some veggies so that Big Bro would eat them lol. In case you havent noticed, I'm a in home caretaker, just to clear that up! Now I'm home. Just waitin on my hunnie to get back! I very much so miss that boy! I've been back for 4 days and I've slept most of them! Tryin to catch up. Though. I wait for him to get home, crawl into bed, make him leave the light on until he crawls in too. But what do you do??? Anyways. Tomorrow is another day of work. Im at Party Girl (shes 31 and loves to party), and Brothers S tomorrow. Then off to mom and dads for the Buffalo County Fair!!!! YAY!!!!