The Lights are Off now...and I am Safe

Fear. We all have it. But what makes us fear things. Where does it come from??? What are your fears??
Mine. I'm scared of the dark, the quiet, being alone, spiders, and worst of all. I have a fear of losing my fiance. Fear is what makes you work that much harder at things. To overcome the fear, and to beat the odds. The other night, I went to bed before Jamie, and the lights...well they stayed off. And for once in my life, I didn't feel the sheer panic I usually do. I felt safe, and I felt very calm. Maybe its because for the first time in my life, I'm looking more into my faith than I have before. My girlfriend Kali started telling me differnt verses from the Bible. And I really sat and thought about them, and I think about them everyday. I may not always go to church (I actually would like to start again but its been hectic, I know thats no excuse but its hard)...but I still believe that God is out there, he's my savior, and he will always protect me when I need it. And when my time comes, well then I guess my time comes. That means he just has something bigger planned for me somewhere else. So I will not be afraid when he comes for me. And I will not let things scare me quite as badly. You can't erase all fear, but you can minimize it greatly.

Today I worked all day just about. And frankly I'm exhausted! I work all weekend, and tomorrow is the big 80's party for all those dudes who turn 21! And then I only work 630-1015 at one house on Monday, and then three days off! And I plan on taking advantage of it by sleeping in, and snuggling with my babe whose on vacation. Might I say that I am so completely and utterly in love with this Police Officer that even when he pisses me off, I can't stay mad at him! I love this boy more than anything else, hes the one person that can make me smile no matter what, he still gives me butterflies when he smiles, and hes truly an amazing person. I gave up, I bought a dog (who i love very much). I stopped going out, I started hanging out with my girlfriends more, and I even started working more. Never once thought that I'd meet a guy on Match.Com and end up meeting him in person. It will be one year on August 15th since I first met him. This guy completely turned my life around. He made me realize the things that were important in life. And for that I'm truly grateful for, and right now hes sleeping in the chair behind me. And all I want to do is just curl up next to him. So I think I might!